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Understanding Engineers

 
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ih8scottcowen



Joined: 09 Jan 2006
Posts: 36
Location: New Orleans, LA

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 11:08 am    Post subject: Understanding Engineers Reply with quote

thought we could use some humor....

Understanding Engineers - Take One


>>> >


>>> > Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where


>>> > did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well,


>>> > I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a


>>> > beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the


>>> > ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The



>>> > first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes


>>> > probably wouldn't have fit."


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Two


>>> >


>>> > To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass



>>> > is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it


>>> > needs to be.


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Three


>>> >


>>> > A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a


>>> > particularly slow group of golfers.


>>> > The engineer fumed , "What's with these guys?! We must have been


>>> > waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but


>>> > I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes


>>> > the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."


>>> > "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?


>>> > They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh,


>>> > yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.


>>> > They lost their sight saving our


>>> > clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free



>>> > anytime."


>>> >


>>> > The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad.


>>> > I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor


>>> > said, "Good idea And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy


>>> > and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said,


>>> > "Why can't these guys play at night?"


>>> >


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Four


>>> >


>>> > What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil


>>> > Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers


>>> > build targets.


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Five


>>> >


>>> > The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"


>>> > The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"


>>> > The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it


>>> > cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries


>>> > with that?"


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Six


>>> >


>>> > Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the


>>> > possible designers of the human body.


>>> > One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the


>>> > joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The


>>> > nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The


>>> > last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run



>>> > a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Seven


>>> >


>>> > "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it."


>>> > Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough


>>> > features yet."


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Eight


>>> >


>>> > An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it


>>> > was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect


>>> > said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for


>>> > an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his


>>> > mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The


>>> > engineer said, "I like both."


>>> >


>>> > "Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each


>>> > assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to



>>> > the lab and get some work done."


>>> >


>>> > Understanding Engineers - Take Nine


>>> >


>>> > An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to


>>> > him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."



>>> > He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog


>>> > spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a


>>> > beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer



>>> > took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the



>>> > pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back


>>> > into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again



>>> > the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into


>>> > his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told


>>> > you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week



>>> > and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"


>>> >


>>> > The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a


>>> > girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
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