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Renewal Plan: The Movie

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Joined: 10 Dec 2005
Posts: 355
Location: New Orleans

PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:29 pm    Post subject: Renewal Plan: The Movie Reply with quote

Heard a rumor that if Spike gets his wish to make a "Katrina Reality Show," which will be more or less along the lines of the movie, and one of the episodes will be about Tulane. What a wonderful bad-guy Cowen will make!

Since humor is the best therapy, here's a possible cast list:

Renewal Plan: The Movie



Scott Cowen: Scott McClellon ("Actually swallows his own bullshit. Results in expanding debt limit for university and expanding belt line")

Lester Lefton: Govenor Ross Barnett (*[not the racial stuff]* "Ross Barnett is so dumb he once walked into the propeller of an aircraft on a runway. When they asked the pilot why Barnett walked into the prop, the pilot replied "only a damned fool would walk into a prop." "Oh yeah, and you can't build a major program around levees. Just ask the Dutch.")

The Board: Congress ("Hard at work figuring out how to stuff the Newcomb Endowment in their refrigerator")

The Newcomb Alumni: The 101st Airborne ("Get between them and their objective, and you'll lose your balls")

The faculty: No appearance ("Either hiding underneath their desks hoping Cowen won't find them or leaving for another school")

Yvette Jones: JFK ("actually Nixon wearing a JFK disguise. Very personable, but she's hidden more bodies than Tony Soprano")

Ian Taylor: himself ("The only one to get through this whole mess with his honor intact. He issued an ultimatum to Scott and when it wasn't met, he stuck to his word. He resigned in protest instead of being part of a colossal mistake.")

BELFOR: Halliburton ("Does this count as playing yourself?")

Tulane Football Team: Corps of Engineers ("They keep getting funding, despite disappointing performances")

David Filo: Osama Bin Laden ("Which one is harder to find? My bet is on Osama.")

Cameo by:
C. Ray Nagin: Don King ("God wants Tulane to be a kosher-vanilla liberal arts college!")
Clay Kirby
11th generation New Orleanian
4th generation Tulanian
Mechanical Engineering Class of '06
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